I actually totally believe that circumstances are neutral. I define a circumstance as the facts of the situation, things that happen outside of us and that everyone would agree on. Some examples of a circumstance would be the temperature today, the number on the scale or something someone else said or did. We are surrounded each day by our circumstances, and they do not mean anything until we think a thought or an opinion.
Our thoughts about our circumstances are what make up the story of our lives. As I am writing this post today, I am sitting outside in a forest surrounded by trees. The air is crisp, and the sun is trying to break through the clouds; it is a beautiful 59 degrees. The circumstance is 59 degree, the rest are all thoughts.
So why is understanding that circumstances are neutral so important? Because circumstances we can’t change. Often we try desperately to influence how our child reacts or what our spouse says to us, but does it work? We spend so much emotional energy trying to change things that are outside of our control. What if we spent that same emotional energy on changing our thoughts?